Every day I live with Fear. She is sometimes rational and sometimes irrational, but ever so present. And I am sick of it. Because it is no way to live life constantly overthinking how things could hit the fan. Fear of failure, fear of standing out too much, not standing out enough, not being enough for not even yourself, letting very important people down, there’s a slew of things I secretly fear.

And I don’t know about other people, but in my head, it’s a little voice, a little character with weird hair and a grin that spells trouble. She…

Like water on pebbles,

And the wind in the trees,

Rush, rush, rush,

I would to you.

Like ebb and tide

You come and go

But never stay;

Now I know.

So I choose, what I always had,

Albeit forgotten and sad:

Myself. To build anew:

Bigger, better, stronger,

Wiser and braver,

Than the world ever knew.

It might be stupid to treat this platform as an open journal, but maybe ‘mistakes’ like this will lead to some helpful cracks, even if it is for one person.

I recently learned that my best friend from high school had married. Due to the university I chose and other life choices, some may be called bad ones, we didn’t stay in contact. I had hoped, that big life events would lead to some form of communication. But I also firmly believed, maybe even a few hours ago, that there are almost 8 billion people on this planet, I can…

Bee Koroknai

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